Silent Musings
by KnottedCherryStem
Summary: No one really knows what's wrong unless you tell them. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Some play the cards they were dealt differently than others might. It's always interesting to see how things turn out. SessInu. Inucest.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** My first SessInu story on . Eee! Support is everything. Hope you enjoy.

 **Disclaimer** : Don't own Inuyasha. Pooh.

 **Chapter 1**

* * *

The boy was too quiet.

She knew this was normal behavior for him of course. He often held a contemplative air around him as he gazed upon things only he could see.

Not for the first time, she wondered what was going on in that mind of his.

She learned long ago that any inquiry she dared to ask would only be met with silence. Never once did he share his thoughts. It was quite frustrating. The more she knew the easier it would be for her to try and accommodate him.

She could only silently hope that he knew she would be willing to listen.

She worried for him, more than she probably should. He was unlike any other child she had met in her thirty-three years of life. There was an intelligence in his eyes that was almost uncanny.

If she were being completely honest, she barely knew much about him. Not from a lack of trying. She had tried everything she could think of that could possibly get him to open up to her.

Only to be met by the ever present wall that separated him from those that tried to get to close.

He was too guarded. She couldn't help but think he must be exhausted with trying to make sure he was unapproachable.

Not that he wasn't succeeding. All she knew for certain was that that wasn't any way for anyone to live out there life.

It wasn't healthy.

She was determined to see him with some semblance of peace in his life. Too fail a child was to fail herself.

People knew her for this attitude, just not for the reasons behind it.

Hence the reason he was placed in her care. She was known for making the impossible happen. She could see why they handed him over to her. They found him to hard to deal with apparently.

People also knew she didn't bother as much with the simpler cases. Her attention laid with the more troubled youth. He was proving to be quite the challenge. Never before had she felt so lost when dealing with a mere child.

The only pleasure she took in all this was the fact she knew what she was capable of.

She could be just as stubborn as he could. If he hadn't figured that out in the past year they knew each other, she knew he was bound to figure it out eventually.

* * *

Cerise-colored eyes gazed upon the boy who sat by the window. He sat away from the other children. She couldn't help but look around at the smiles that adorned the other childrens faces as they chatted amongst friends.

It made her heart clench uncomfortably. This was how teenagers should act, she decided. They were supposed to want to go out with friends. Supposed to go on dates. Be rebellious. Complain about homework. She shook her head at her own thoughts. She sensed some of the childrens eyes on her as she walked across the classroom.

The closer she got to him, the louder she made her steps. She didn't want to have to touch him to get his attention, knowing his dislike for physical touch.

She'd rather not make a scene in the classroom.

He didn't turn to look at her, though she knew he was aware it was her.

She stopped herself a respectable distance behind him. Just beyond her reach. That seemed to be the case between them.

"Hello Sesshomaru." She said quietly, more than aware of the silence that fell over the room. Not doubt wondering who she was, and why she was talking to the mysterious boy. She decided to ignore them.

"Kagura." He returned, finally turning from the window he'd been staring out of. That was all he said before picking up his belongings and heading for the door. She turned and followed him.

They walked in silence through the empty hallway.

A part of her wanted to ask if there was anyone he wished to say goodbye to. Reassure him that they had more than enough time if that is what he wished to do.

She knew. Knew there was no one for him to miss.

She held her tongue.

Warm air greeted them as they exited the main doors of the high school.

She looked around, noting how empty the parking lot now seemed.

It had been quite packed before she had entered the school. All was quiet and still now. People excited to get started on their weekend.

She unlocked the car doors, watching as Sesshomaru slid in the backseat.

Through the rear view mirror she noticed him about to slip in his earbuds, no doubt intending to stay that way throughout the trip.

There was something she needed to address first.

"Wait Sesshomaru," she spoke quietly, watching as his hand stilled. His gaze met her through the mirror.

"How do you feel about all this? I'm sorry for not being able to sit down and discuss this with you properly. I know this all quite sudden, but there were no other options available. I hate to have to yank you from here like this, but you're aware of the situation with Ms. Rin."

She paused as he suddenly looked away. He stared out at nothing, his stony expression unreadable.

The urge to pull this child into a hug came over her, but she managed to ignore it. She couldn't cross that line. It wasn't that she cared that was the problem. She just cared too much.

She also wasn't sure if the gesture would be appreciated.

"I want you to know," she began, "that none of this is your doing. Nothing you did, or didn't do would have changed the outcome in all this. Just know that she wanted you to stay. In the end, she decided this would be best for you. She wouldn't have wanted you to see her like that. Please understand."

He didn't say anything, or even acknowledge that he even heard her.

On the rare occasion, she didn't mind the silence. She could only imagine what he was thinking. The feelings coursing throughout him.

It wasn't fair, she thought. She could only hope the heavens would show some favor his way.

She sighed as she turned on the engine. It was time to get going. Merging with traffic, they headed off toward their next location.

She hoped that something good came along soon. For both of their sakes.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I apologize if there are any mistakes. It's just me so I'll go over it more thoroughly at a later time. Hope you enjoy! :)**

 **Chapter 2**

* * *

"Sesshomaru, come here son."

The demon child looked up towards his mother, face lighting up at the sight of her. He ran towards her, bare feet flying over the soft blades of grass in their backyard. He raised his arms up once he stood before her, eager to be received by the arms outstretched to grab him. Once in his mothers arms, he laid his head on her shoulder. They stayed that way for a while, joined together as mother and son. She peppered his forehead with light kisses, smiling softy at the content expression her son wore.

"How was your day, Sesshomaru?" she asked after a while.

Sesshomaru raised his head to look better at her. "It was fun, mother. Me and Jaken went swimming at the lake. Then, we played hide-and-seek."

His mother chuckled as he continued to relay the adventures he'd partaken in throughout the day. She knew her son could be quite the mischievous creature. She suspected their new neighbors son, Jaken, was beginning to see some of his schemes firsthand.

She waited until he was done before speaking. "Do you remember what tonight is?"

She couldn't help the chuckle that left her at seeing her sons obviously confused face. "Don't tell me you don't remember your very important guest. You've been asking me about him all week."

She knew then that he remembered. "Fathers coming to see me." He said, a soft smile on his lips.

She turned breathless at the sight. It always amazed her how her son would turn at the mere mention of his father. That smile said so much. It was as if he were basking in a peace only he could feel. Her arms tightened around him as she led them inside their home. She wanted that for her son always. She knew the love Sesshomaru held for his father knew no bounds. The bond they had was truly a marvel. As long as he was happy, so was she.

"When will he get here?" her son asked once she placed him back down.

He followed her into the kitchen. "Your father should be here soon." She spoke as she grabbed everything she would need for the dinner they were to eat later tonight.

"Can I help, mother?"

She turned to look at her son. "Sure, dear. Think you can handle stirring up the sauce for me?" She smiled at the eager nod she received. They chatted as they worked. She asked about the things he usually did while she was at work. She hated leaving him here with a babysitter most of the week. She herself had been raised by her mother. She was an only child. Her mother had some complications after giving birth to her so she was unable to have anymore children. She remembered being very close to her mother because of that. Her mother had taken care of everything in the home as well as raising her. Her father had worked to support them all. He'd bring home the money, giving the money to her mother. Mother would have a hot plate of food for him every night when he got home. They had been a simple family, but it worked for them. They had been happy.

She thought she would be able to have a simple family of her own. She was old enough to realize things didn't always work out the way you once thought they would. She looked at her son as he placed some mixed vegetables into a bowl. She hoped and prayed that Sesshomaru knew just how much she loved him. Moments like these were special to her. She literally couldn't afford to be here with him like she wished she could. She had to take care of her son. Not that Sesshomaru's father didn't take care of his son. No complaints there. For everything else however, that fell on her shoulders. So she worked.

It was just them. Seshomaru didn't have the luxury of having a mother that was around all the time. Or a father. He was still young so he couldn't quite grasp the situation in it's entirety. She worried for the future. Would he grow to resent her? Everything she had done up to this point had been with the intentions of protecting her child. She didn't regret her choices, but she found herself questioning them.

She placed a cover over the skillet to let the sauce simmer. She looked towards the clock. They had been in here a little over forty-five minutes. He would be here soon.

"Sesshomaru, go watch T.V. I'll be in their in a little while."

He nodded before scampering towards the living room. She quickly finished up before taking a seat on stool in front of the counter. All that was left to do was wait.

..

The chime of the bell rang throughout the house.

Sesshomaru looked away from the kids show he had been watching. He got up from his spot in front of the television before walking to the window that rested in the front of their home. He smiled at seeing the familiar black car.

He turned from the window before running to the front door. He came up short at seeing his mother already opening the door. He was happy once Father stepped through the front door. He stood there as they talked, waiting to be acknowledged. As soon as his father turned towards him, he hurled himself at the now crouched man, finding refuge in those strong arms.

He broke free to look into the eyes so much like his own.

"Hello, Father."

"Hello, Sesshomaru."

* * *

His eyes fluttered open at the feel of lips pressing against his forehead. He saw his father turning away from him.

"Goodnight." He called out.

His father paused before turning his head towards him. "Goodnight, son."

Then he was gone.

Sesshomaru woke up later feeling thirsty. He felt his way across his bed, the dull night light helping him navigate in the otherwise dark room.

He dropped down from the bed before leaving his room. He kept his steps light as he crept across the wooded tiles in the long hallway. He knew he should be asleep and knew his mother would be too around this time. He didn't want to wake her.

He was almost at the end of the hall when he heard a strange noise. He listened for a moment, face scrunching up in confusion when he realized it sounded like a kissing noise. The same sound he heard at school when the boys aimed their kisses at the girls. Why would he hear that here? Who was kissing?

He peered around the corner into the living room. It had sounded in that direction. It was hard to make anything out. The only light source in the room the dull glow of the dark screen on the television.

He listened for a moment longer. He couldn't pick up any sounds now.

Maybe he imagined it. All was still and quiet as far as he saw.

He remembered his thirst and made to remedy that when a voice startled him. He dropped into a crouch, eyes wide as he tried to pinpoint where it came from.

"Your upset, aren't you?"

Sesshomaru closed his eyes as relief spread throughout him. He took deep breaths, willing his racing heart back under his control.

That was Fathers voice. What was he still doing here? Why hadn't he gone home?

"Yes, but more so at myself than at you, believe it or not." That was mother. What was she doing up?

He wanted to go to them but didn't know how he'd be received. He was supposed to be in his room asleep.

"When we end up like this, I feel like I'm losing a bit of myself every time. Doing something I thought I'd never do. You're a married man, Taisho."

He heard that kissing noise before hearing Fathers voice once more. "Do you forget, love? We were married once. If I recall, we were joined quite often."

Silence lingered for a moment. "That was the past, Taisho. You are no longer mine just as you no longer have a claim over me. We can't keep doing this."

"I am yours. There are no words to describe how I regret hurting you so. Is it wrong to show you how much I miss being with you? I'm still in love with you, Kozue. That will never change."

The silence lasted longer this time. Sesshomaru was confused at what they were saying. He had never heard them speak to one another like this. They barely spoke to each other in his presence. They were nice to each other, but never went out of their way to start any conversations unless it was about him.

"How can you say this freely, Taisho? What we feel doesn't change our reality. You have a wife waiting for you back at home. I have a son. Our son. That I need to focus on. I won't bring him into this mess. I won't see him hurt over your indecisiveness."

"What would you have me do, Kozue? I can't just up and leave her. We just learned of her being with child. She needs me right now. Once the baby comes, I'll let her know that I plan on filing for divorce."

"Divorce? Your filing for divorce. Why?"

"I need you, Kozue. I didn't see what was right in front of me the whole time. It took me losing what I already had to make me realize how much I really needed it. I was a fool, and I can't change the past, nor would I want to. If only because I can't bring myself to regret the child she's giving me." He sighed before continuing. "You are the woman I wish to be beside. I want my family back."

"Don't do this to me. Don't fill me with hope on empty promises. I would never tell you to leave her. You know this. I deserve happiness, Taisho. I can't find it if I were to continue on like this."

Sesshomaru was torn between staying where he was and going to his mothers side. Her voice sounded funny.

"You come in here telling me all this. I suppose I should be jumping for joy, right? The man I've loved since we were teens…says he wants to come back to a family he left for some human. The same demon who left during _my_ pregnancy to be with. Tell me, Taisho. What makes her so special? The poor human can't handle being alone while with child? You were the one always spouting that crap about humans being stronger than we give them credit for. So tell me, why is she so damn special!"

"Izayoi had a tumor, Kozue! I have to be there for my child!" his voice boomed.

Sesshomaru heard his mothers gasp and his father's rugged breathing. He himself was scared to breathe. He knew they were both upset and didn't want to draw any attention his way.

"I'm so sorry, Taisho. I had no idea… " Sesshomaru was glad her voice lost its loud volume but he didn't much care for this new tone. She sounded so sad.

"Of course you didn't. I hurt you in a way no one should ever have to know. All those things you said I deserve and more. It needed to be said."

"Damn right you do. Had I known she was sick…"

"I know and I'm glad I didn't say anything. You need to say what you feel. I want to know. Know if we can ever be together again."

His mother groaned. "Well, that just made me feel even shittier about all this. What's your excuse in all this? How do you justify sleeping with me while your wife was sick?"

He chuckled. "Me and Izayoi both know we're going nowhere in this marriage. Last time we were intimate had been months ago, which we now find out she got pregnant from. Before you get any crazy ideas in your head, no I'm not just sleeping with you because I'm not getting any from my wife. You more than anyone know I'm not perfect. There's only show much I can take. "

His mother was quite before saying, "You'd think I wouldn't feel bad considering she slept with you while knowing we were married. I'm doing what she did to me and I feel bad. What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Absolutely nothing. Just proves what I figured out some time ago. I was an idiot for ever letting you go."

A beat of silence before he continued. "I have every intention of leaving her once the baby is born. Only reason I'm not telling her now is because she's a high risk pregnancy. I'm doing everything in my power not to cause her any stress right now. What I need to know is.. Will you be willing to try again? Once I leave my wife, will you receive me?"

"I know we've never discussed about how your leaving affected me. The effect your decision had in my life. It was a long time before I even wanted to leave the bed. You have to believe me when I say I didn't see any of that coming. Had no idea you had feelings of restlessness. That you were unhappy. You hid your feelings well." A shaky breath. "So I did the same on that first visit you came to see Sesshomaru. Decided then that you would never know just how much you hurt me. I wouldn't give you the satisfaction."

It was a while before she continued. "The me today knows how foolish I was acting. Inside I was angry but was so hell bent on never letting you see anything from me. Took me a long time to realize that by not forgiving you I was actually locking myself to you. You had power over me and didn't even know it."

Another shaky breath. "Over the years, my anger has faded. I see the effect you have in my sons life and feel… happy. Him being happy is what makes me happy. How can I stay angry at you when you continue to put that smile on his face? So, I forgave you. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, Taisho. I didn't want to. I wanted to continue to be angry but I was fighting a losing battle there." She laughed. "I knew if continued to be angry with you, it was less room in my heart for my son."

"Seems I owe my son a lot. Remind me to get him that new game he's been bugging me about." They laughed.

"I guess you do." Kozue agreed before continuing. "I know your heart, Taisho. You love me, this I know. Just know I will never understand your reasons for leaving your family."

"What are you saying Kozue?"

"I'm saying that I'm willing to see if what you speak is the truth. If you leave Izayoi, then it will be of your own free will. I will never tell you to do so. If that is what you choose to do…then I'm willing to see if we can try again."

"Thank you Kozue. I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you and Sesshomaru. I won't let either of you down. Not again."

"We shall see. If we do not speak of this after the arrival of your child, I will have my answer."

"That you shall."

Sesshomaru was slightly dazed. He couldn't comprehend all that had been said. Were mother and father getting back together? He was too young too remember the days of them being married. He was used to Father coming to visit him here. It had been that way since he could remember. So father was to live here with them now? He excited at the idea.

He knew he was missing many key elements to the conversation, but he got the gist of it. He had never been overly curious as to why Father was no longer with Mother. It was not odd to be the child of divorced parents. He knew others that attended his school to be in the same boat as him. After overhearing the conversation, he now wished to know what prompted his father to leave them. Not the reason he left. He knew Father had a wife, a woman he had no desire to meet. No, Sesshomaru wanted to know what the deciding factor for his father to actually leave had been.

He knew Mother would not be happy should she found out he knew of her and Fathers conversation. He would act as if he never heard it, he figured that would be best. He would however ask his father about his decision in leaving his family.

Someday, he would know.

Sesshomaru stayed sitting in the hall until his father left later that morning. He made his escape as his mother walked him to the door. He crawled into bed, his thirst long forgotten as thoughts of his family together put him to sleep.

* * *

Kagura was grateful in this moment that Sesshomaru wasn't a talkative child.

Not to confuse her dislike of him bottling everything up. She had yet to give up on her mission of hearing his story directly from him. She knew the story of his life, in a sense. Knew the basic necessities one needed to know as a social worker. She wanted more than facts and events. She hoped someday Sesshomaru would be willing to open up to her.

At the moment, she didn't think she was in a state to hear it. If by some miracle he suddenly started talking about his past.

She glanced in the rearview mirror. Sesshomaru was currently asleep. Had been on and off throughout their trip. Kagura noticed he had been moving in his sleep, almost restless. She almost felt bad watching him in his current state. His usual guarded expression gone. He seemed.. childlike. As he should.

These were the only times his guard was down around her. He dealt with her with a seriousness that had no business being on someone his age.

Which led her back to her earlier thoughts. She had been thinking of the new people they were to meet later tonight. Well, new to Sesshomaru. Kagura had known the Tsunoi family for years now. She had been imagining how Sesshomaru would take to them. He was used to being alone. She wanted him to adapt to the Tsunoi's simple, everyday lifestyle.

The Tsunoi's had been working close with her particular agency over the years. Kagura was proud to say she knew the Tsunoi's. Had worked with Ms. Tsunoi over the years on various cases that had all gone exceptionally well. Honestly, she felt like kicking herself for not thinking of this family sooner.

Though, all had been fine with Ms. Rin. Another amazing woman she was glad to know. The circumstances that had arose concerning Ms. Rin had been unexpected. Kagura had such a short time to find Sesshomaru a new home. She hadn't been able to find him any available homes in the neighborhood or surrounding area. Kagura tried hard to keep him with some semblance of what he had grown used to. She wished for him stay in the area so he could attend the same school. Kagura knew he wasn't particularly close to anyone at that school, but she wanted him to have a normal routine. To be grounded.

She was confident he could find that with the Tsunoi's.

..

Kagura turned the key, effectively turning off the engine. She slumped in her seat. As nice as it was to catch up with someone you hadn't seen in a while, Kagura wanted nothing more than to crawl into a nice plush bed. She had been driving for a little over four hours. Later than she originally planned to arrive, but traffic had been a real pain.

Her cellphone revealed it was eleven o' two. She had meant for them to arrive around nine. She hoped she wouldn't be waking Ms. Tsunoi out of a deep sleep.

Kagura got out of the car, rapping her knuckles against the window Sesshomaru laid his head against. She made her way to the trunk where Sesshomaru's bags were.

She grabbed them before closing the trunk, noticing Sesshomaru had gotten out of the car.

"Ready?" she asked.

He nodded, following behind her as they made their way to the Tsunoi's front door. She rung the door bell, before waiting to see if she could hear any sounds behind the door. She heard approaching footsteps.

"Who is it?" a womans soft voice called out, muffled by the door that divided them.

"It's Kagura, Ms. Tsunoi."

Kaugura thought she heard Ms. Tsunoi voice whisper 'Kagura?' before the door finally opened. "Oh, it is you Kagura. Come in." Kagura followed behind her, feeling Sesshomaru behind her as they navigated through the darkness. Ms. Tsunoi made her way into the kitchen. Kagura placed the bags beside the couch before gesturing for him to take a seat. She went to follow Ms. Tsunoi.

Kagura leaned against the counter as she watched the woman make a pot of coffee. "You didn't have to do that Ms. Tsunoi. Thank you."

The human smiled. "It's no problem, Kagura. Don't need you falling asleep on the road now do we?"

"That is true." Kagura laughed.

"When you didn't show up at the arranged time, I figured you wouldn't be coming today. Nothing happened I hope."

"No, everything's fine. I just didn't factor in the slow traffic." She snorted. "I apologize for having to disturb you so late. I didn't wake your little one did I?"

Ms. Tsunoi poured coffee into two separate cups before gesturing towards the kitchen table. "No, he's still fast asleep. It's quite alright. You guys made it here safe, that's all that matters."

Kagura took a sip of the hot liquid. "How have you been, Ms. Tsunoi? It's been some time since we've last seen one another."

Ms. Tsunoi laughed. "Please, call me Izayoi. I've been perfectly fine. My son is healthy and happy. That's all I ask for. How about yourself?" They chatted for a while, catching the other up on what they had been doing lately in their lives. Some point in the conversation, Izayoi took on a more somber air.

"How is he?" the woman asked.

Kagura knew what she meant. She sighed. "I honestly couldn't tell you. The kid hides his emotions so well. It's impossible for me to get a read on him. All I do know is that he's hurting." Kagura took a deep breath, keeping eye contact with Ms. Tsunoi. "Honestly, I'm hoping you'll be what he needs."

Izayoi lowered her head. "That's a lot of faith you're placing in me, Kagura."

Kagura smiled. "Only because I know your capable."

"You know I'll do everything I can to help."

"I know Ms. Tsunoi." Kagura looked at the clock that hung on the wall. "I'd better get going."

Izayoi nodded. "I'll show you out."

Kagura walked towards the couch where she left Seshomaru. His eyes were closed as he leaned back into the cushions.

"Sesshomaru?" she called out. His eyes opened, turning his golden stare to her. "I'm leaving now. I'll be back to check in with you tomorrow. Ms. Tsunoi will show you to your room."

Kagura turned to Ms. Tsunoi, who had been watching from behind the couch. The human nodded before walking around to the front of the couch, coming to face Sesshomaru.

Kagura was taken aback by the gasp that escaped the woman.

"Ms. Tsunoi? Are you okay?" she asked slowly as to not further startle the woman. Ms. Tsunoi turned wide eyes towards her before quickly looking away.

"I-Im fine. It's late is all. Must be catching up to me." She rushed.

Kagura raised an eyebrow. What was wrong with her? She was curious about the woman's reaction to Sesshomaru. Even now, she noticed Ms. Tsunoi throwing Sesshomaru quick glances from the corner of her eye. She glanced at Sesshomaru, seeing he was staring intently at Ms. Tsunoi. His face gave away nothing, but she would bet her last dollar he was just as perplexed at the woman's behavior as she was.

Kagura had never met anyone to react to a child this way. It seemed the woman was uneasy.

"Excuse us for a moment, Sesshomaru." Kagura said, never taking her eyes away from her. "Come with me please, Ms. Tsunoi."

Kagura made her way back towards the kitchen, feeling the woman scampering to keep up with her. Kagura roughly exhaled before turning to face the woman behind her. She was confused at Ms. Tsunoi's avoidance of looking directly at her. Though perplexed at her weird behavior, she had a more pressing matter.

"Will it be a problem with him staying here? "

Izayoi's head whipped towards her at that. "Of course not. I don't turn away children needlessly, Kagura."

"I'm not questioning your character, Ms. Tsunoi," she bit out, "it was obvious you were uneasy around him. I don't want to create problems if its avoidable. I can't have him in an environment that makes him uncomfortable either. I need to know if I need to make necessary arrangements for him."

Her voice had been colder than she intended it to be. Never before had she felt so annoyed with a foster parent.

Izayoi looked at her for a moment before nodding to herself. "It appears I've upset you. That was not my intention to do so. My apologies." she sighed before continuing. "No, it will not be a problem with him staying here because I will not make it so."

She was quite before whispering, "He reminded me greatly of someone I once knew. Someone I lost long ago. It just caught me by surprise."

Kagura felt foolish in her anger. It did explain the womans peculiar behavior. She was relieved it wouldn't affect Sesshomaru staying here.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Tsunoi. That doesn't excuse my tone. It wasn't very professional of me."

"I see you care for him deeply." Was all Izayoi said.

"Yes I do." Kagura replied quietly. She wasn't saying anything more.

Izayoi nodded. "Do not worry, Kagura. All will be well."

Kagura nodded as well, desperately hoping she was right. "I better get going. Busy day tomorrow."

"Please be safe Kagura. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"Until then Ms. Tsunoi."

They exited the kitchen. Sesshomaru's eyes found hers. Kagura offered him a small smile. "Sleep well, Sesshomaru." He nodded.

Izayoi accompanied her to the door, where they wished each other a good night. Kagura got on the freeway, heading towards the hotel she would be staying at. She was too tired to even try to think over Izayoi's reaction. She'd get some precious and much needed sleep before attempting to sort anything out. Thinking could wait a few more hours.

* * *

 **AN: Well, there you have it.**

 **Just in case there's any confusion, Kozue is the name I've chosen to name Sesshomaru's mother. I couldn't find anything official when trying to look it up. I guess technically she doesn't have one? Correct me if I'm wrong on that one.**

 **Let me know what you think! Reviews are appreciated. Let's me know whether I should keep writing for this or not. See ya when I see ya! :***


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

It had been like staring into her old love's eyes all over again. There was no doubt in her mind that was Taisho's son.

She hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Not when her thoughts plagued her til the wee hours of the morning.

She flipped the pancake she was making over, deciding it wouldn't hurt to start breakfast early. Her lying in bed with her thoughts as company losing its appeal the longer she laid there.

Izayoi knew Kagura was a bit miffed with her at the moment and she didn't blame the demoness. She was ashamed of the way she reacted a few hours prior. It hadn't registered in her mind to connect Kagura's use of "Sesshomaru" with her deceased husband's son. She'd never thought to see him again. Now he was here in her home by the fates. She wondered if her past was coming back to haunt her. Karma coming back around to dispense its justice for the decisions she'd made so many years ago.

Izayoi loaded a plate with pancakes, with eggs and sliced pieces of ham. Footsteps came running down the stairs and she looked up, seeing the small ivory haired boy hiding a yawn behind his hand. A soft grin taking hold of him at seeing his mother.

"Morning ma."

"Morning Inuyasha. Your up early." Her words holding an inquiring tone.

"Yeah. Heard you down here. Is that for me?" His golden eyes trained onto the plate in her hand.

A genuine smile made its way onto her pink lips. "No son." She turned placing the plate onto the nearby counter. "Go sit at the table. I'll prepare yours shortly."

He sent a small "Kay." before going to sit at the table, going to sit in one of the chairs at the circular seating. His legs swinging as he watched his mother. "Did Ms. Kagura ever come ma?"

Only the slightest hesitation in her movements showing her son's words had any affect on her. She licked her lips before sending him a cursory glance. "Yes Inuyasha."

Izayoi loaded another plate, clearly noticing the look her son sent towards the stairs before turning his gaze back to her. "So he's here?"

"Yes." She swallowed.

"I'm gonna go wake him up so he can eat with us."

Izayoi whirled towards him, her son pausing at seeing the hurried movement. "You stay seated Inuyasha." Keeping her voice calm, low. "He can come eat when he's ready. Let him rest for now."

Inuyasha's brows furowed but settled back in his seat. Izayoi made her way towards him, setting the plate before her child before taking a seat of her own. She sighed at the confused look in his eyes. She'd never stopped him from waking up the previous children before. "He and Kagura drove a long ways to be here Inuyasha. I imagine he's tired so we need to let him rest."

The hanyou's face morphed to one of wonder. "What's his name?"

Izayoi looked at him, seeing his plain interest. As he was with every child they let into their home. Something shifted inside her, an uncomfortable feeling. This was unsettling. "It's Sesshomaru dear."

He nodded, turning his attention to his food. He picked up his fork and lifted one of the slices of meat towards his mouth. He chewed, his face one of pondering before he shot off another question. "You think he'd wanna go to Miroku's with me?"

She doubted he would. Inuyasha and his friends were years younger than Sesshomaru. Their interests would be different. Based on the little Kagura told her, it was safe to assume Sesshomaru kept others at arm's length. Hurting, she'd said.

She wondered if she was doing the right thing by allowing this to happen. She knew she was one of the causes of his pain and it ate away at her. Her peace of mind now in a state of unrest caused by the disturbance of her complacency. Her love with Taisho seemed like a past life. One she didn't linger on, ashamed of the actions of her younger counterpart. Izayoi had fallen into a false sense of security, believing her past was nothing to focus on further. Something she was all too willing to leave behind. Not wanting to face the reality of what she helped to cause.

The eldest son of the man that once held her heart was in her home. The actions and decisions of her and his father's had played a hand in destroying his innocence. His pain was because of her.

"Mom!"

Izayoi blinked down at the small hand that shook at her shoulder. Inuyasha staring up at her with worried eyes.

"Are you okay?"

She patted a hand over his. "I'm fine Inuyasha. Go get ready to go to Miroku's. I'm sure he's looking forward to seeing you again."

Inuyasha's eyes held his hesitation but held his tongue at his mother getting up from the table, collecting their barely eaten meals. Izayoi felt his eyes on her and released a silent breath once he left the kitchen without a word. She dumped the remains of breakfast into the garbage before fixing a plate of food for Sesshomaru should he want it. She covered it before putting it in the microwave and setting about cleaning up after herself.

..

Izayoi sat on her bed, staring out her window as she watched her son walk away to his friend's home.

She turned to the jewelry box that sat in front of her vanity mirror. She took out the diamond ring Taisho had given to her, the night he proposed. She knew she shouldn't have taken it then. That'd been her own selfish desires taking priority over her better judgement. Both of them pretending it was with her he really wanted to be.

She slipped it on her finger, marveling at the beauty of it. The cold metal band a sensation she hadn't felt in so very long. How could something she once held so dear now represent nothing more than the heartache she endured?

Izayoi took the ring off, placing it back in its place in the box. Though it was not a reminder of the love she once held in her heart for Taisho, she never could bring herself to part with it. She owed a lot to the demon she'd once been in love with. Maybe she would always feel that way.

Her decision was already made before really giving it any serious contemplation. Why she'd told Kagura all would be well. Their was no way of her knowing that. It was why she would house his son at the cost of her own secrets possibly coming to light. At the cost of her piece of mind. It was all she could offer the young silver haired demon and it would never be enough. She would do it for Taisho, despite their past history.

* * *

Izayoi was amused as the children bickered about what book they wished for her to read. This was not a rare occurrence. Twice a week she made time to read to the hospitals resident children and it seemed every time they were in disagreement. She couldn't please them all. She would have to read one book first then the other the next time.

"Since it seems the votes are about even, I'll just pick the book this time. We'll read Very Hungry Caterpillar today and Horton Hears A Who next time."

The cheers and groans she received were expected as she picked up the book she had selected to read. She had the children gather around her as she began reading. It wasn't long into the reading that all the children were captivated by what was happening in the story. She made sure to keep them interested. Izayoi changed her voice to emphasize the introduction of a new character in the story, earning giggles for her efforts. This warmed her heart to see something she was doing help alleviate some of the struggles the children had with living here in the hospital. They didn't get to go home like most children did at the end of the day. Unlike most children, these tiny beings had to endure the pain one went through with being very ill. Some terminally ill.

If she could help carry some of the burden she'd do what she could. It also gave the parents time to have any reaction they felt without having to worry about their child seeing them break down. She herself wasn't a mother, but she could only imagine the pain of watching your child dying before your very eyes.

She finished the book, chuckling at the loud protests and demands for the next book that filled the room.

"The other book is for next time. If I read that one right now, what would we read next week?" Izayoi asked. Of course she had plenty of other books back at home, plus the books the hospital kept. They gave up after that, accepting that as an answer.

The parents came into the room after a while to take the children back to their rooms. She smiled at the ones who looked her way with gratitude. Some came up to her and thanked her. Izayoi explained it was no problem at all and she enjoyed their time together just as much as the children. She straightened up around the room once everyone had cleared out. The children tended to be a bit rowdy at times. Once she was satisfied with the state it was now in, she went back over to collect the books she had borrowed for today's reading. She put them back in their proper places on the shelf before turning around to head out only to be startled by a large man leaning against the doorway. Watching her.

See could see he was a demon right away from the blue markings that resided under each of his eyes.

She opened her mouth to break the silence but he beat her to it.

"You're very good with the children. The way you are with them is amazing."

Izayoi felt a warmness on her face. That was unusual.

"I- Thank you. It's a pleasure reading to them."

"I didn't mean to startle you. I've been meaning to introduce myself for awhile. The kids brag on you so I took it upon myself to meet this mystery woman."

She smiled at that. "Kids can be a bit overdramatic. All I do is read to them."

"Your modest too. You have a big impact on their lives. What you do is very noble and I'm sure they appreciate that."

She felt her body thrum with energy. She wished he would stop talking. She was having some weird reactions to his compliments.

"You're a doctor then?" She asked, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"Yes. I've been working here five years now."

That amazed her. "I've been coming here to Shikon for almost a year now. I was sure I had met everyone on this floor."

He shrugged. "I don't really get a moments rest around here. It's no surprise we've never ran into one another before."

She nodded. That seemed plausible.

A short young woman came into Izayoi's sight as she came up and whispered something to the doctor.

"Seems I'm needed elsewhere. I hope to see you soon Ms. Tsunoi."

She startled at the mans use of her name. She watched him disappear from the door, wishing she had said something before he left. She hadn't even gotten his name.

She thought it over a minute before realizing one of the kids must have said her name while discussing her.

Izayoi left the room and took her usual path to the elevators. That man had made her feel strange. She was curious. Hopefully she could do some digging of her own the next time she visited the hospital. He knew her name. It was only fair she found out his as well.

..

She hadn't seem him the next time. Or the week after. She occasionally looked towards the door as she read to the children.

It was a smaller crowd than usual this time. From what the kids had told her, some of the other children had gotten worse. That meant the doctors had them stay in bed and rest.

She finished their session, watching them as they left with their parents. Things had been going so well as of late. It seemed all the children had been on a better path to their recovery. It hit her every time she looked up and noticed a familiar face missing. She had become a part of these children's lives just as they had become ingrained in hers. It was hard.

She was relieved she hadn't heard of any of the kids passing. Though she had witnessed it before. One day they were smiling and laughing with the rest of the children and the next day just...gone.

It wasn't something she'd think she'd ever get used to.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

She jumped at the deep voice that came from no where. She looked up to see the demon standing in the doorway just like last time.

Izayoi raised a hand to her racing heart. "What is with you and sneaking up on me?"

He chuckled, golden eyes lightening up in amusement. "You caught me. It's not often I get the opportunity. My wife can hear me coming a mile away."

Izayoi nodded at that. "Well, please remember that I am a human. You could end up doing some major damage if you keep it up." she teased.

His deep chuckle sent a shiver through her.

"I'll try to keep that in mind." He said in a tone that clearly stated he would do no such thing.

"I never caught your name." Actually, that wasn't true. She had found out his name through one of the parents who had the man as the doctor for their child. Izayoi had acted as if she couldn't remember his name as she described him to a woman she was more familiar with. The woman, once she realized who Izayoi was referring to, told her without a second thought. For some reason, she wanted to him hear him say it.

"Taisho Kobayashi at your service."

She reached for his hand once he offered it. His hand engulfed hers. It was so warm.

"Izayoi Tsunoi." she offered.

She couldn't help but watch his mouth as he tested her name on his lips.

Taisho checked his watch suddenly. "I've gotta run. Just thought I'd run in and say hello. Have a nice night Izayoi."

"You as well doctor."

He smiled before exiting the space. It was then she let herself acknowledge something that had been sitting in the back of her mind. He was a very handsome demon.

Not only was he handsome, he was charming. He had been showing up more often after her reading to the children. She had gotten more comfortable around him.

He never stayed for long. Just enough time to pop in and say hello. Ask her about her day. Though he had cut down on scaring her much to her relief.

She found herself looking forward to their interactions. He had become a part of her routine here in the hospital. It was almost expected.

He did not disappoint. He came in and stood in his usual place.

"Go to lunch with me."

Izayoi looked back at him once she placed the books back on the shelf. She turned to face him as she thought his request over. They had never interacted outside of the hospital and she wondered what that meant. What she hoped it meant.

"As much as I would love to Taisho, are you sure that's wise? You are married. People could get the wrong idea about us. I don't wanna cause you any trouble."

This was new territory for them. People would get suspicious if they weren't already. Here in the hospital was understandable. What excuse did they have for having lunch outside of here? Izayoi wondered why he asked her. Surely the man must have thought of this.

"I've never been one to care for the opinion of others. I'm heading out to lunch and would like some company. If your uncomfortable I understand."

She was uncomfortable but not for any reasons he knew. Izayoi was attracted to him. She was losing herself to those golden eyes of his. His presence even now had an affect on her. The fact that he was married was her only saving grace. Or she would have let herself be swept up by him completely.

The feel of his hand on hers caused her eyes to meet his eyes.

"I'd really like it if you joined me Izayoi." he said softly.

Before even really thinking about it, she found herself nodding.

"Alright." she whispered.

Her breath hitched as he brought her hand up and placed the lightest of kisses there, all the while looking into her eyes. He smiled and she returned it, her response automatic.

"Meet me out front. I'll be down in five minutes." he said, already walking towards the door.

She watched him go, overly aware of the feeling still lingering on the hand he kissed. The lines were blurring. Maybe she wasn't the only one being swept away.

Lunch became a regular thing when Taisho had the time. Some days opting to stay at the hospital and catch up on work.

Izayoi noticed the shift. Her fears becoming a reality. People had noticed the time they spent together. The parents that had been so open with her barely gave her more than a nod of acknowledgement these days. The nurses eyed her in a way they hadn't before.

The only thing that hadn't changed were the children. They were as excited to see her as any other day. She was glad the parents didn't stop them from coming. That would hurt the children and wouldn't be fair just because they felt strongly against the amount of time she and Taisho spent together.

She and Taisho were friendly, nothing more. He hadn't tried anything and neither had she. Izayoi could see there issue with the situation. It was something that bothered her too. Taisho was married. A single woman spending time with a married man was bound to cause a few whispers.

It made her wonder why she did it. It would be so much easier on her to cut ties with him. Taisho would understand, she was sure.

It just didn't seem right to her. To cut him off when they had done nothing wrong. To satisfy people who didnt know anything about what they did? It would be foolish to waste the friendship they had created.

Another part of her just didnt want to. He was apart of her everday life now. It had been four months since the first time they laid eyes on one another.

Then the part of her she tried her best to ignore sometimes forced her to admit to herself she was hoping for more between them. She knew it was wrong. She knew Taisho and his wife were not particularly loving toward one another right now. Some of the things he said just enough to piece the clues together. She heard the adoration in his voice when he spoke of her, but there was a wariness he often tried to hide. It sparked the flame of hope that lay inside her.

Izayoi smiled at the hand that grabbed hers, making her turn away from the bookshelf to meet golden eyes.

"There you go thinking too much." Taisho spoke matter of factly.

Izayoi forced a laugh at that. It was a joke that had started up between them. When he'd catch her being quite, he took that to mean she was thinking of things she shouldn't be. So he said. She couldn't help it, there was a lot for her to think about.

So badly she wanted to utter, 'What are we doing?' but was terrified of the response she would get. She didn't want to deal with the possibility of rejection. Which would just likely be the case. He had never hinted at anything other than a friendship between them. Besides the kiss to her hand that had been it as far as intimate acts.

She found herself asking, 'What am I doing?'

* * *

Izayoi continued to torture herself by spending time with Taisho. It was like having something you wanted right in front of you, but it stayed just out of reach. No matter how far you reached out to grab at it, you couldn't obtain it.

Izayoi watched as Taisho jogged up to her, smile apologetic as he explained why he was late this time. "Sorry about the wait. Meeting ran longer than it was meant to."

She smiled to let him know she didn't mind. "Your a doctor, Taisho. Things happen."

"Are you ready to go?"

She nodded and they began the short trek to the restaurant down the street from the hospital. They often went there during Taisho's lunch hour. It was quick to get there and they both enjoyed the food.

They caught each other up on their day. Izayoi's reading with the children and Taisho on the meeting regarding new hospital policies to be introduced.

They were greeted by some of the servers as they entered. They saw them in there so often the employees often joked with them that they were eating all the food. They were led to a table by a female waiter who quickly asked them what they'd like to drink. She left after that.

They made light conversation as they waited for her to return. She eventually asked about his wife. Izayoi knew she shouldn't but she couldn't help but wonder how they were doing in their marriage.

Taisho sighed as he looked around the establishment. She knew he wasn't really seeing anything. He was thinking of a way to answer her.

"Kozue's still Kozue. It's been pretty quite around our home. I'm to blame for that. She's been giving me some space but I doubt she knows how I'm feeling."

Izayoi nodded. "You've been married a long time. I imagine it's hard to hold on to the feelings you once held in the beginning."

"I love my wife Izayoi. Been in love with her since we met all those years ago. Its always been her and I think that's the problem."

Izayoi tilted her head at that. "I'm not following.."

Taisho laughed softly. "I guess you wouldn't."

She remained quite as he took a moment to gather his thoughts.

"What I mean is I've been with Kozue for many, many years. We were caught up in each other from the very beginning. We've had some amazing years together. Years I do not regret. Through it all we've been side by side."

She thought she knew where this was going now. "Are you saying your bored with her?"

He snorted, apparently finding that very funny. "Kozue's not a boring type of person. I'm saying she's all I know. I've never been with another woman. I can't help but feel I may be missing out on something. We never have a chance to miss one another."

"Wow." She couldn't help but breathe. Demons lived a very long time. She suspected Taisho had quite a few centuries under his belt. Through it all, he's only ever been with one woman?

The waitress came back then, drinks in hand. She asked for their order. Once she left, Izayoi turned back toward the conversation.

"What will you do?"

"No idea," he said easily, "the thought of telling her is daunting. I fear she may take it the wrong way."

"I feel you should. She'll eventually notice. Whatever it is should be solved together, right?"

"I suppose your right." He said softly.

Izayoi may have wanted Taisho but she could tell the man really loved his wife. The demoness was lucky, whoever she was.

"What about you Izayoi." Taisho spoke suddenly.

"What about me?"

"I've never heard you mention a significant other. Surely theres someone in your life."

Izayoi looked away from him. "No. There is no one. It seems all I've got time for is work and reading to the children."

"What a shame. You're very beautiful."

Izayoi felt her cheeks warm under his gaze. She pretended not to hear him as he chuckled at her expense.

They ate their meal once the waitress came back to the table. They finished up before walking back to the hospital. Izayoi had been listening to him talk about the paperwork he had to stay late for when a sharp, intense pain made itself known in her stomach.

She had to catch her breath, just barely hearing the man beside her as he spoke to her.

"...keep breathing. That's it."

She came to the realization that Taisho was holding her up by her waist. Tears were streaming from her eyes, making her world blurred.

A cry of pain left her as he grabbed her behind her legs and hefted her into his arms. The position making her stomach clench painfully.

"Sorry Izayoi." He muttered as he led them to the hospital. She whimpered at the pain that seemed to blossom throughout her middle. It was painful to breathe. Every breath causing a painful contraction around her abdomen.

She was only vaguely aware of the voices shouting and the pairs of hands touching her body. She was hurting and it was all she could focus on. She was completely unaware of the pitiful whimpers she was making. The nurses hurried as they tried to figure out what was wrong with her.

Taisho lightly prodded her stomach but quickly withdrew as Izayoi let out a sharp cry. It was her stomach.

"Get her to a room. Put her on a light dosage of morphine before running any tests. I want an x-ray of her stomach as soon as your done. Get to it."

The nurses pushed the gurney away and Taisho watched her go. She sometimes mentioned having a stomach ache but it was so infrequent Taisho had thought nothing further of it. He was sure if Izayoi thought it serious she would have told him. Or at least see her doctor about it.

Speaking of doctor, Taisho had to get in contact with her. Izayoi was a patient here so finding her doctor wouldn't be a problem. He hoped it was nothing too serious but he wasn't taking any chances. Taisho went off in search of trying to locate Izayoi's doctor.

* * *

The sound of a beeping noise made Izayoi come around. Her eyes felt heavy as she struggled to get them to stay open. She raised an arm up but was stopped by a slight pinching pain towards the center of her arm. She looked down to see she was connected to an intravenous line.

She looked around the room then, noting she was in a hosptal.

She couldnt remember much except the pain that had resided in her stomach. She carefully prodded her stomach. No pain. That must be what the IV was for.

She had been having pains in her stomach, but she had written it off as a simple stomac ache. It never lasted long. To think that something more serious could be behind the pain was unnerving.

She wondered what Taisho thought of all this. One moment they were walking and conversing, the next she was doubled over in pain.

She pushed the button she knew would alert the nurses station. Hopefully someone would come to her soon.

A minute lady a short, middle aged black haired woman walked in the room. She smiled at seeing Izayoi sitting up in bed.

"Doctor Kaede?" Izayoi exclaimed surprised. She hadn't been expecting her personal doctor to walk through the door.

"Hello Izayoi. How are you feeling? Are you in any pain? Do you feel any discomfort?"

Izayoi shook her head. "No, I've been feeling fine. I suspect it's because of this." She lifted the arm attached the IV.

Doctor Kaede confirmed this. "That is correct. I'm going to ask you to lift up your gown so I can check your stomach. That is where you were in pain correct?"

Izayoi let her know that was where the pain originated from. She pulled the covers down before lifting her gown just above her stomach. She watched as Doctor Kaede slipped on a pair of gloves before making her way beside her bed.

"Let me know if you feel anything."

Izayoi nodded before leaning back to give the doctor better access to her middle. Doctor Kaede's hand were gentle in her prodding. She felt around thoroughly at Izayoi's top section of her abdomen. She worked her way down, occasionally asking Izayoi if she were in any pain.

After a while it became obvious to Izayoi that the doctor seemed to be spending a lot of time on a particular spot. Doctor Kaede's brow furrowed in concentration and Izayoi could keep quite no longer.

"What is it doctor?"

The doctor did not answer her right away. Just gently felt aroud the area. Once done, she left her place from beside the bed and made away with her gloves. The doctor scribbled something down before turning her attention to Izayoi.

"There is something in your stomach."

Izayoi nodded, but inside she was scared. This could actually turn out to be serious.

"Well, are you aware of what this thing inside me is?"

"We do not know as of yet. We're still waiting on the x-ray we performed to be reviewed. We've already done multiple tests and the things tested showed up as negative."

"What do you think it is doctor?"

"It's hard to say at this point Izayoi. Whatever is inside you is no bigger than the size of a baby's fist. I myself almost missed it. It's too early to say just yet. We won't have any real answers until we run more tests and look over your x-ray."

Izayoi closed her eyes, taking in the doctor's words. This was unreal. She was not a sickly person. She never abused her body. Why was this happening?

"I imagine it's difficult with not knowing. As soon as we know of the results, we'll let you know what we've discovered. Try to rest in the meantime."

Izayoi nodded as Doctor Kaede left the room. She was scared of the possibilities. They didn't even know what was wrong with her. Not knowing was torture on her mind.

She layed down, staying blankly at the white wall.

Maybe this was her punishment for falling in love with a married man. The tears came then.

..

She hadn't been able to sleep since Doctor Kaede left. She had been listening to the sounds of the hospital outside her room as the doctors and nurses tended to their work.

Izayoi lifted her head as an older woman walked inside of the room.

"Hello Ms. Tsunoi. I'm here to run a few tests. How are you feeling?"

Izayoi sat up while wiping her face from the tears she had cried earlier. She missed the sympathetic look the nurse aimed her way.

"As well as I can be right now," Izayoi spoke, "Has there still not been any news as to what's wrong with me?"

The nurse shook her head. "No, but it shouldn't be much longer now from what I hear."

The nurse put on some gloves before requesting Izayoi hold out her arm.

"I'm afraid this will hurt a bit Ms. Tsunoi. I'm going to have to draw a blood sample."

Izayoi took a deep breath. "Alright."

It did hurt. It felt like the needle went so deep into her. She fisted her hand in an attempt to stay still while the needle was inside of her. She was grateful when the woman pulled it out. The nurse cleaned the running blood before pressing a cotton swab against her skin and securing it with a stick of tape.

"Okay Ms. Tsunoi, I'm all done."

"Have you seen Doctor Kobayashi? He's the one who brought me in. I'd like to have a word with him if possible."

"I'll ask around and see what I can find out for you."

"Thank you." She wanted to see him. He hadn't been by to check in on her and she wondered what he was doing. She could use his reassurance. His company.

* * *

Taisho was working. He wanted to go check on Izayoi but he had other responsibilities he still had to focus on. He made sure to keep tabs on her, but couldn't find a moment to go see her himself. If nothing popped up later, he'd go see her tonight.

He questioned what he was doing. When she had been about to collapse, he had been scared.

She had become apart of his life in a way he hadn't expected. He had only meet her that first encounter to satisfy a curiosity. His younger patients always managing to bring her name up during their appointments. They weren't necessarily telling him about her, just letting him know of the excitement they felt with listening to a new story. A woman that could get a child excited about reading he had to meet.

She had been lovely. She reminded him of a princess he had read about a long time ago. Izayoi seemed so fragile, something that went past her being a human. Her beauty was hard to ignore. Her long dark hair looked soft to the touch. Her brown eyes gentle and warm. He could smell her perfume from across the room.

She proved to be interesting. She could be witty. Her soft spoken voice often soothed him after a rough day at work. He went back to see her again and he didn't know why.

He didn't have a reason to and she never questioned him about it. Never sent him away.

Izayoi made him think of the opportunities he probably had missed out on with being with the same woman for so many centuries. His feelings for his wife at the moment were confusing. He wanted to leave her yet in the same breath wanted to assure her it wouldn't be indefinitely. How did one explain that to his wife?

He knew Kozue would take his feelings the wrong way. She would think he didn't love her and that wasn't the case. He just wanted some space and that made him feel guilty. His wife had done nothing wrong and to ask that of her was selfish.

He was caught up in feelings he didn't understand. It seemed to get worse once he met Izayoi.

Taisho realized he could be a very selfish man. Spending time with Izayoi was taking time away from his wife and working through whatever he was feeling . He never brought up his internal struggles to Kozue and she remained ignorant to it all. He did not want to drag her into something he himself wasn't ready to face.

Izayoi proved to be his escape. He was running. Izayoi was always there waiting for him with open arms it seemed. It was so easy with her.

That scare made him realize just what a vital role Izayoi now played in his life. He was worried for so many reasons.

He was caught between two women.

What was he to do. He had started up something he felt he shouldn't have and now he didn't feel right cutting Izayoi out of his life. He wasn't in love with Izayoi but he felt strongly towards her. Enough to want to make sure she was going to see through whatever was going on with her. He would support her through this. Hopefully he could sort through what he was feeling toward the women in his life in the meantime.

* * *

It wasn't until later that night that Izayoi saw Taisho. He appeared exhausted. He slumped in a chair close to her bed.

"You look like you haven't gotten any rest." Izayoi stated worried.

Taisho rubbed a hand over his face before looking toward her. "I haven't. Busy day today. That's why I haven't been by to see you sooner."

"How are you holding up?" She asked. She had wanted to see him but if he needed to rest that was more important to her.

He laughed. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Izayoi offered a small shrug. "I feel fine. It seems the doctors still don't know what's wrong with me. Every time I ask they say they're still waiting on results. It's making me nervous I'll admit. Not knowing."

He grabbed her hand. "I know it's hard. They're doing everything they can Izayoi. You'll just have to be patient a little while longer. I'll be here every step of the way. I'll be here so much you'll probably be sick of me by the end of all this."

"Never." she declared. "You have no idea just how much I needed to hear that. I'm scared Taisho."

"Just know I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere."

He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. They stayed like that until Taisho had to leave.

..

A day later was when Izayoi's life was turned upside down.

She was tired of laying up in bed when no one was telling her anything. People rarely came into her room now and she took that as a good sign.

A few of the parents of the children she read for had found out she was here in the hospital and came by to see her. The children missed her. They conversed a while before wishing her well and taking off.

Izayoi missed them as well. She'd rather be with them than laying here doing absolutely nothing. She was missing work and had yet to get any answers as to why they were keeping her here.

She would talk to Taisho and see what was going on. Maybe he could get some answers since they weren't telling her anything.

Later in the day found Doctor Kaede walking into Izayoi's room. She hadn't seen the woman since her first visit.

She wasn't going to let her leave without some type of explanation this time. She was about to ask what was going on when the appearance of someone else walking into the room took her attention.

"Izayoi," Doctor Kaede started, "this is Doctor Totosai. He's one of the lead surgeons here at the hospital."

"Surgeon?"

"Hello Ms. Tsunoi." Dr Totosai spoke up. He was a rather older demon. "I've been brought in to help you through the procedure that we are too discuss with you."

"Wait. You know what's wrong with me?"

"We do, "Doctor Kaede stated, "there are some important things we need to go over."

"I would like to know what's wrong with me if you don't mind doctor." She was addressing them both. It didn't matter who told her. She just wanted to know why they were holding her here.

She didn't miss the quick glance the doctors exchanged.

"Very well Ms. Tsunoi." Dr. Totosai conceded. "The x-ray requested arrived today and we reviewed it's findings. I assure you we exhausted all other possibilities. The pain centering from your stomach was revealed to be what we believe is a malignant tumor in it's early stages of development."

"Malignant?" Izayoi choked. "That would mean..." She couldn't bring herself to finish. "H-How is that possible?"

"Yes, well, your blood samples and medical records showed you have Type-A blood. People with Type-A blood have a higher chance of developing cancer in their lives. Twenty percent higher than those with type B or O." The old white haired demon paused. "Ms. Tsunoi. There is a type of bacteria named Helicobacter pylori. This infects your stomach. People with AB or A may have a more heightened immune system reaction to the bacteria. This increases the risk of developing cancer."

Izayoi shook her head in disbelief. "No. This has to be a mistake. You must've read the x-ray wrong. I don't have.."

Dr. Totosai spoke. "Ms. Tsunoi I know this is difficult, but we have went over the results and have consulted with experts on the matter. We do need to perform a incisional biopsy to collect a sample for a more proper analysis. As well as more imaging testing to see in clearer detail what we're dealing with."

Doctor Kaede looked at Izayoi with a serious look. "We need to start preparing you for surgery. It is good we detected this early as the chances of success are much higher. My colleagues and I believe it's best that you start drug treatment right away as well as radiation therapy. These will kill the cancerous cells and shrinks the tumor so that's it's more easily removed upon operation."

Doctor Totosai nodded, picking up where Dr. Kaede left off. "The good news is that we caught it early. The tumor is still limited to the layer of tissue that lines the inside of the stomach. Had it spread any deeper, that would tell us you were past stage one."

Izayoi listened, her heart dropping the more the doctors spoke. She felt her body, yet it seemed she was spectating the whole conversation. They talked so absolutely as if they were completely sure she had a tumor. It terrified her.

"I-I'd like a moment alone please." she whispered, not looking at the doctors.

They nodded, but not before Doctor Kaede let her know a nurse would be in soon to start her on her new medication. Izayoi knew what that meant. It was already starting.

Tears ran down her cheeks as she gripped her hands on the blanket in a death grip. A part of her felt guilty for asking, 'Why me?', but that's all that seemed to run through her head at the moment. She cried, her shoulders shaking with her silent tears. Her grief overtook her, her wails bouncing off the walls as she dwelled in her moments of misery.

Izayoi pulled herself together as she watched a woman walk in the room, sending her a small smile her way before focusing on the machine she'd wheeled behind her into the room. Izayoi said nothing as the woman brought it closer to her. She did as the woman requested as she was prepped and inserted with her new medication.

She awoke to the softest sensation on her head. Izayoi turned her head and opened her eyes, seeing Taisho pulling his hand away towards him. She turned seeing she was still connected to the contraption that supplied her the medication. Tears welled in her eyes anew.

"Oh Izayoi." Taisho breathed, his hand reaching over to thumb away the tears that ran over her pale cheeks.

She stared at him in silence, tears running down her face. His handsome face drawn into one of slight worry.

"Cancer, Taisho.." She cried, bringing a hand up to cover her face. "They're saying I have cancer."

"I'm so sorry Izayoi."

He took her hand and held it as she cried. Her wails holding her anguish. Her pain.

"Izayoi. We will get through this. This is not the end for you."

She looked to him, his golden eyes shining with determination and reassurance. He squeezed her hand but she couldn't find it in herself to return the gesture.

"I need you to rest for me. People will be coming in to prep you for surgery soon. Sh. Rest now. I'll see you soon."

It was easy to do what he asked. She was so tired. Her eyes closed, her hand in his the last thing she was aware of.

* * *

 **AN** : Whew. Finally got this done. Had to find my mojo.

One of the drawbacks of literally writing whatever it is that comes to you in the moment. Wasn't expecting to have to do any type of research when deciding Izayoi had a tumor. I just went with the flow. Because I like to keep a realistic aspect in my tales, this chapter was long overdue on top of having to find my stride again.

S'what I get for never seriously planning out my plot lines. Though I can't really complain. I've learned things I never knew before. I also liked the challenge. It's currently 5:49 AM. Pacific Time.

Thank you for the follows, favs, and reviews. They make me happy. ^_^

Hope y'all enjoyed this. Chapter four is already in the works. Which will serve as a part two to this chapter. I know. I know. Where's the SessInu action? Just bear with me a little longer.

Very Hungry Caterpillar -Eric Carle

Horton Hears A Who -Dr Seuss

Was this chapter too long? Too short? Now that I have a better idea of where I'm headed with this, I'll try to keep the coming chapters around this length if that's what you guys want.

Ooh before you go. I should have a new story up on my profile. If not then it should be up soon. Definitely check it out and tell me what ya think. Okay. See you when I see you! :*


	4. Chapter 4

**AN** : Still with me?

 **Warnings** : Consensual sex between adult parties. Not suited for minors.

 **Chapter 4**

* * *

Endoscopic Mucosal Resection was the advised operation of choice to remove the abnormal mass of tissue. Partial gastrectomy. Part of her stomach had been surgically removed. It was a successful surgery.

She was to go home tomorrow. They wanted to keep her here overnight. The hours here served as time for the sedative to wear off.

It was hazy. She couldn't remember much aside from the bright light overhead and the faces staring down at her when pushing her to the operating room. Izayoi had been out of it after a nurse poked her hand with the intravenous line. The sedative ridding her of the nervous anxiety that plagued her a day before her surgery.

The surgeon, Dr. Totosai, had explained to her when she could start drinking and eating solid foods. Return to her normal activities. She was to consume a liquid diet for the first one to two days. He explained the endoscope he'd inserted would make her esophagus sore after a while. Izayoi couldn't feel it now, courtesy of the numbing effect currently over her body. He told her to contact her doctor should she experience any chills, vomiting, blood in her stool, abdominal pain and a list of other symptoms. She did her best to remember his words but her mind was partly foggy. All she wanted was sleep.

She was to visit the hospital a week from now. To discuss the results of her surgery. He left her alone to rest.

Izayoi slept until a light shaking on her shoulder woke her. She turned confused eyes towards the sensation, seeing Taisho leaning over her.

"Wake up Izayoi. It's time to get you home."

She looked down, seeing she was still in her hospital gown.

"Is the taxi here already?"

She sat up before throwing her legs over the side of the hospital bed. He came forward and she latched onto his arm, gently easing her off the bed.

"You wound me Izayoi." He told her, his tone holding a note of playfulness. She looked up at him. "To think I would let you take a taxi home after you've just had surgery. I'm going to see you home myself."

She pulled away from him, a question in her eyes. "I assumed you'd be too busy with work. It's not a problem. Really."

Taisho shook his head, his silver ponytail swishing behind him. "It's why I showed up early. I'm going to help you inside then come back."

"O-Okay." The thought of him inside her home made her excited, though she did her best to keep her face neutral. It'd be the first time he'd ever stepped foot inside.

Taisho eyed her before turning to leave the room, stopping just before closing the divider between them. "Let me know when you're finished. I'll be waiting for you outside the door." He hesitated as he looked her over. "If. .you need help getting dressed. . ."

She looked down. Heart trying to pound out of her chest at the mere idea of him seeing her naked. "I-I'm sure I can manage on my own, Taisho." She stammered out with a warmth fanning across her cheeks before looking back up into his amber. He nodded, finally drawing the divider shut to afford her some privacy.

She let out a quick breath. Though she didn't feel any pain, her movements were definitely sluggish as Izayoi reached for the neatly folded pile of clothes resting in the nearby chair. She slipped her dark knee lengthed skirt under her gown before reaching for the white long sleeved button up shirt. She shed her gown before donning the shirt. Strapping the small brown purse over her body. She looked around, spotting the tan wedged shoes. Sliding her red polished toes into them before pulling back the divider.

She walked out, seeing the large demon standing where he said he'd be.

"I'm ready." She called out softly, drawing golden eyes her way.

"You look much better." He smiled. His handsome face sending her heart racing in a flutter of palpitations. He gave her a slow once over, her breath hitching slightly at the hand that came to rest on her cheek. "Your still lovely." He told her, seemingly unaware of the effect he was having on the human. He turned, gesturing a hand down the long hallway. "Shall we?"

She cleared her throat, nodding before pulling away to walk down the hall to the elevators. Feeling the large demon following behind her. She climbed in the elevator, body slumping against the wall as Taisho pressed a button that would take them down to the first floor. That small walk taking more out her than she anticipated. He turned quickly and she made to straighten out but wasn't fast enough for the movement to go unnoticed.

He rushed over to her immediately. "Forgive me. I didn't think to realize you may need a wheelchair." He brought a hand around her waist and she brought a hand up to squeeze his arm.

"It's fine, Taisho. I'm just a little tired." She admitted.

"You'll be able to rest soon." He reassured, keeping a steady hold on her. Feeling for himself the steadily growing heaviness in her body. The effects of the medication still clinging to her.

He looked up at parting doors before leading them out of the elevator. Mostly supporting her weight as he led them across the tiled lobby floor and towards the hospital's main doors.

Her eyes fluttered open as the warm air from outside greeted them, the breeze brushing over her face. She hadn't felt this weak when Taisho woke her up. They walked across the parking lot, Izayoi doing her best not to be a nuisance.

Taisho propped her against the side of his truck as he opened the passenger side door for her. She stumbled towards him and he caught her, helping her climb up into the high seating. He wondered if she should be going home so soon but trusted the doctors to know better than to give her the okay if they knew of any further dangers to her health. It wasn't strange to feel out of sorts when foreign substances hit the bloodstream. He knew but he couldn't help but worry.

He closed the door behind him and made his way behind the wheel looking over to see Izayoi's head propped up against the window. He reached over to secure her in the seat before lightly shaking her.

She moaned as she came to. She blinked her eyes groggily as she turned her head to send the silver haired demon a questioning look. "What. .what is it, Taisho." She murmured. God she was suddenly so tired.

"I need you to tell me your address Izayoi. Then you can sleep."

She nodded her head as she turned to lay her head back against the door. She managed to mumble it out before instantly finding sleep.

He watched for a moment, her childlike expression drawing him in. The gentle rise and fall of her chest as she laid there so peacefully. He shook his head, suddenly remembering himself as he turned to start up his truck. He thought of Kozue as he pulled out the parking space. Leaving her looking just as peaceful as Izayoi as he left their bed this morning. Earlier than usual. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to tell her about Izayoi. As if letting her in on his growing friendship with Izayoi would destroy the small bubble he'd created to hide away from his problems. What he was doing now. . was not something he did for even any of his own patients. He was filled with the need to see Izayoi well.

He drove, Kozue and Izayoi the two women who filled his thoughts. Looking over to the dark haired human beside him periodically. Izayoi was exciting to be around. Something new. Something to explore. Different from his normal everyday routine. Finding her small quirks appealing as he couldn't help but compare them towards the silver haired demoness. Soft spoken. Appearing fragile and her expressions open and readable. Maybe that's what kept him coming back. The thought that maybe he could possibly. . The look in her eyes telling him all he needed to know. It scared and exhilarated him at the same time. The thought that the chance was there presented for him should he choose to indulge in that sin. The idea was more appealing than it should've been. He hadn't let himself visualize what it was he wanted until he meet Izayoi. The other women all just tempting silhouettes to draw him in. Now that woman had a face. A solid form. He knew her scent. And her dark eyes pulled him in.

Kozue was. . the love of his life. That much he knew and the only thought he tried to hold on to. She was always there. Supportive. Her actions proving her affections as she didn't care to always speak them aloud. But he never doubted the emotions were genuine. Kozue projected a more fierce and self assured air whereas Izayoi appeared more timid and closed off. Different as night and day. Both looking to him as the man they cared for.

He sighed, growing uneasy with his own mind. He wanted to be satisfied with his wife as he once was. But it was growing harder to deny the temptation to know more than what he was used to. Izayoi forced him to acknowledge the things about him he tried to keep pushed deep down. She was Pandora's box. Opening it would unleash things he knew he wasn't ready for.

Taisho parked the truck, shutting it off before opening his door. He eyed the modest sized brick home for a moment before making his way around the front of his truck to retrieve Izayoi. He hated to wake her but she had to let them in.

She sighed at once again being disturbed, eyes slowly opening to see Taisho staring down at her. A smile finding her before looking around. Seeing where they were before turning back to face him. "Thank you." She said lowly, her eyes holding her gratitude.

He nodded, holding out his hand towards her. "Come on. Let's get you inside and in bed."

She took a hold of his hand, using him to guide her down onto the driveway. He shut the door behind her and led her to the front door of her home. Izayoi reached into her purse, producing her key and unlocking her door as she let the demon guide them inside.

He led her over to the dark gray couch, setting her down gently against the matching pillows before straightening up. She eyed him, watching him as he looked around her humble dwelling. He turned to face her. "It suits you." He smiled.

She laughed, her tiredness leaking through. "Glad you approve doctor."

Taisho looked to his watch, seeing he'd have to head back towards the hospital to start his shift soon. Izayoi noticed. "I'm fine now. Go." She urged with a nod of her head.

Taisho eyed her with a pointed look. "I think you should be lying down. In bed," he stressed. "Your not that long out of surgery."

She nodded, not seeing any point in arguing as she held out her hands for him to help lift her up. He surprised her by simply scooping his arms under her legs, raising her towards his chest.

Her breath seemed to leave her at being held so closely to him. Words lodged in her throat as she couldn't even bring herself to protest. Heart beating erratically. She looked away, sure he could hear it.

He held her tightly as he left them towards the hall, Izayoi quietly pointing out which room she slept in. The clean, spacious bedroom holding dark sheets with hints of crimson stitched into the sheets. Her vanilla jasmine scent was strongest here. He carefully laid her down.

She felt how gently he handled her. As if she were fragile. She imagined that to him she was. She smiled to him gratefully, squeezing his arm before letting him go. "Thank you, Taisho You've. .done so much for me when you didn't have to. I hate to burden you down like this."

"Hush, woman." He chided with no real heat. "The last thing I would consider you is a burden. As you've said, I didn't have to. I'm choosing to do this of my own free will."

She nodded, choosing to trust the demon at his word. She would have to find some way to properly communicate her appreciation. For now, she was going to rest.

She watched him as he suddenly crouched by her bedside. "You'll probably wake up in a fair amount of pain. I have to go now but I'll swing by after my shift to come and check up on you. I'll make sure to bring some pain relievers. Nothing too heavy. We don't know how it'll react with the leftover traces of medication in your system."

"Your doing so much for me and. ." she started, suddenly feeling emotional. A protest fixed on her lips but came up short at the pointed look he sent her way. "And. .thank you. Again."

He smiled and she felt her heart melt. "Much better." He teased before leaning over to place a chaste kiss to her forehead. It was only when his pointed ears picked up the stuttering of her heart that he realized what he had done.

She tilted her head back to see his face, his body frozen over her as he looked at her with an emotion she couldn't place. Lost in the swirling pools of molten gold.

He felt her warm breath fan across his face, her body frozen as if afraid to move. He pulled away slowly as if drugged. Her brown eyes following him all the while as she made to sit higher up on the bed.

He stood up. He. . he had to get out of here. "I'll. .I'll make sure to swing by later."

She bit her lip with a nod. He watched the lip trapped in between her teeth before abruptly turning towards the door.

She watched the empty doorway as she heard her front door open and shut. She laid back into the pillows, staring up at the ceiling blankly for an unknown period of time. A hand eventually reaching up to lightly run across where his lips met her skin. A smile taking over her lips that she couldn't control if she tried.

...

He sat in his truck, her pink lips constantly running in the fore of his mind. Her scent. He closed his eyes. It was intoxicating.

His eyes snapped open and he rolled out the driveway. Making a conscious effort not to ruin the steering wheel under his hands. He came to a stop at a red light and his amber lingered on his gold wedding band. Kozue.

Thoughts of his wife always somehow going back to Izayoi. Bright silver locks bled into unending raven. Brilliant amber gradually ran like melted chocolate. A tall, slim and toned figure transitioned into soft beckoning curves of one of a smaller stature. Complete opposites. Not better. Just. . different. Unknown. Alluring.

Try as he might, his mind's eye never let up in the assault of supplying images of him and the dark haired woman. He wanted her scent to meld with his own.

His mind was a constant whirlwind of unwanted activity. Cursing these invading feelings to hell and back. Why. Kami, what was wrong with him?

The demon threw himself into his work once he arrived for his shift. The hours helping in tampering down his consuming anxiety. Wanting to renege on his earlier promise to Izayoi but knowing he would never do so.

He left the hospital and went to a nearby store. Intent to get Izayoi some pain relievers. He was in and out, thankful it was a short hassle. He drove to her home and parked out front before jumping down. He cast a quick glance around before walking up towards her door to knock.

Izayoi looked away from the television at the knocking on her door. Figuring it was Taisho with the medicine. She managed to stand herself up, and walk to let him in. She opened the door and offered a small at seeing the large demon filling her doorway. "Hello," she greeted before stepping aside to let him get by her.

He walked in and turned towards her. Her heart dropped at the closed off look on his face. "Taisho. ."

He held the bag out between them. "I can't stay long, Izayoi. I should get home. To my wife." He said and her eyebrows met in her confusion. Their was something about the way in which he said that. . .

She took the bag from his hands but walked closer to him, staring up at him searchingly. She made to rasie a hand to rest on his arm but he quickly intercepted her touch. Eyes locked with her own as they stood there still. Trapped in the other's eyes. He eventually released her and she continued her ascent, this time leaning up to cup the side of his face. She marveled as he almost seemed to lean into her touch. His bright eyes suddenly hidden behind his eyelids. She passed her thumb over his cheek. Making sure to be gentle. As if to not suddenly startle a skittish animal. "Don't be upset, Taisho." She said quietly. "If. .you are feeling unease about what took place earlier. .think nothing more of it." She forced herself to say with a smile she did not truly mean. "It was simply something that was done in the moment. Nothing more."

He heard the struggle in her at having to utter those words. Words he knew she did not feel. Yet, she said them anyway. Something done in the heat of the moment could be explained away he wished to tell her. What reasons did he have for wondering of her heat. Her face as she reached her highest peak of pleasure. The feel of her breast underneath his hands.

He ripped away from her and she watched him sadly. He knew the demon cared for his wife and figured he was dealing with feelings of guilt for the kiss he'd placed upon her. Really. It was nothing to waste another thought over. Not for him anyway. It'd been popping into her thoughts ever since his earlier departure.

"I'll check in on you soon, Izayoi." He murmured as he passed her on his way out of her home. He left, missing the sad look in chocolate colored orbs. She watched him go, his name falling so silently from her lips even he could not hear.

* * *

Kozue stepped out of the bathroom fixing her dark silk robe over her damp, naked body. She raised a clawed hand to loosen the ribbon that held her silver strands at bay, feeling lighter at the abundance of hair that fell down around her.

She looked up as she made to walk towards the large bed but came up short at seeing her husband standing in the doorway. Watching her.

"You scared the hell out of me, Taisho." She said before moving forward to pass him. "How was wo-"

She was suddenly turned by her arm and backed into their shared bed. Her husband's lips an onslaught as he moved in on her. She moaned at the large mass of heat that moved in between her legs. It'd been some time since they'd last been intimate. The demon claiming he was too tired from his shifts at the hospital. The demoness, taking him at his word, let him be. Now, it seemed as if a fire had been lit inside of him. From the way he grabbed her roughly and forcefully. She felt her self dampening at imagining that same treatment while he took her. The feel of his large body one she had missed moving over her own.

She kissed him as he hastily untied the sash to her robe. They shrugged it off of her. Letting it fall before the demon picked her slim frame up by her waist. She wrapped her legs and arms around him as he climbed atop of the mattress.

She turned her head at the feel of his fangs lightly scrapping across her pink nipple before gently taking the erect nub into his nub. She whimpered to him her need. Her body had went too long without release. Foreplay could wait for another time.

He backed away, sensing her need before quickly shedding his shirt. Greedily watching her hand reach down to gently play with her love as she looked to him. He wanted her and that relief blossomed into his own growing need. She was still beautiful. He felt himself harden fully as he moved in on her body.

Breath left her as his fangs teased her neck as he breached her. Her hips rolling before she spread her legs wider to accommodate his large frame. His name falling from her lips as he stretched her. A sigh leaving her as he bottomed out in her pulsing heat.

He moved roughly into her as he looked down into her closed face. Her pale features one of bliss as she exposed herself fully to him. He moved faster, wanting to take her to new heights.

Kozue moaned, her body shaking as she felt him rub against that spot inside of her with every push and and fast withdrawal. She wrapped herself around him as her peak neared her. His name a string of litanies on her lips.

She clamped down around him and suddenly the picture before him changed. Ebony tresses spilled over the light sheets. His wife's face no longer the face below him. Izayoi's eyes looking into his as she moved back against him. Her warmth wrapping around him in a vice like grip. Her hand cupping his cheek as her head fell back into the pillows. Her mouth hung open in pleasure as she reached the peak of her nirvana. His strokes turned wild at that flushed face, his own ending fast approaching as he moved with new vigor.

Kozue blinked her eyes open, seeing Taisho's head bent down as he moved roughly into her. More than either of them were used to. His motions animalistic. She grunted at the pain, her pleasant haze evaporating with every thrust into her body. She said nothing as she felt his strokes faltering, a sign he was close to his finish.

He spilled inside of her with a stretched groan leaving him. Filling her before his body gave out. His strength leaving him completely. He felt the clawed fingers run through his head of silver as he hid his face in her neck. He held Kozue closer to him as if afraid to let her go; her spicy scent mingling in their shared love. Her scent the only thing he wanted to focus on as their harsh breathing the only thing to fill the space.

He kissed her shoulder. 'Forgive me. Forgive me, Kozue.'

* * *

He never did come see her the next day. Or the next two days. She didn't understand. Had such a harmless kiss really bothered the demon so? Thoughts of that nature plagued her doing their time apart from one another. She threw back two pills before reaching for the bottle of water on her living room table. The surgeon's words indeed proving to be correct as she'd been feeling pain in her throat from things inserted during her surgery. Her stomach rumbled and she quickly pressed a hand to it. Thankfully today was the day she could begin taking in food again. She'd been instructed to start off with something light. Like soup. See how she responsed to that before taking on the more solid foods. Izayoi raised herself from the couch and started for the kitchen only to stop at the knock that sounded through her living room.

She made her way to the door and opened it to reveal Taisho.

The demon looked to her and was surprised when she didn't move away right away to grant him entrance. Her face not holding the usual smile that greeted him.

"What are you doing here, Taisho?" She asked lazily, leaning against the doorway to her home as she looked to him for an answer. "I thought you were anxious to get home to your wife. Shouldn't you be with her?"

He took in her impassive face, not used to seeing this person that stood before him. She really was upset he hadn't kept good on his word. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Izayoi. I meant to come by to check in on you." At seeing her unresponsive he lifted the white plastic bag he held in his hands with a light shake. "I come bearing gifts."

She tried to stop it but the smile slowly stretched across her lips at the silly expression he wore. She stood away and held the door open for him. "Your impossible." She told him as he passed her.

He turned towards her, grin on his lips. "I prefer to think of it as me being just that irresistible." He chuckled.

Izayoi laughed though her stomach turned at his words. "No," she said coolly. "I only permitted you into my home because of my gift."

His large hand held it up between them as he sucked his teeth playfully. "Just for that, now your not getting it. I imagine your quite starved. To think I went out of my way to pick up your favorites too."

She eyed white plastic bag with new critical eyes before looking back up to see the silver haired demon's too smug grin. Her eyes narrowed as she stalked closer to the grinning man. "Hand me the bag, Taisho."

He grinned, casually lifting the bag holding the styrofoam containers of food high into the air. Much higher than the smaller human could ever hope to reach without assistance. The dog enjoyed seeing the playful look now held in those beautiful brown eyes. "I don't think I will." He tilted his head mockingly.

She stood directly before him with a raised brow. "Really, Taisho. This is quite childish." Huffing under her breath as her words seemed to stretch his grin. "Fine," she said haughtily before standing up on the balls of her feet, arm outstretched to reach the bags holding her favorite meal from the restaurant they tended to frequent. She looked to him in exasperation when she failed to grab it, lightly smacking his chest. "Taisho."

He raised a brow. "Izayoi."

She jumped and he raised it higher slightly just to tease her, chuckling at the sounds of frustration that left her. He made to relent but the sudden awareness of her body pressed flush against his own stilled him. Her sweet scent hitting him full force with every jump as she bumped into him. Her breast. . . they felt so full against him. Her softness melding against the hard expanse of his chest.

She laughed. "Alright. I give," she relented after one final jump to obtain the elusive food. She turned to him, surrender on her lips but found herself frozen by the intense look in his eyes. Her eyes searched his, feeling the warmth spread over her cheeks but not daring to look away. Never seeing this particular stare aimed her way. She'd never thought she'd see him look to her with desire.

She quivered slightly at the hand that came to slowly run over her hip. "Taisho. ." She breathed, surprise and huskiness mixing into one.

Her breath reached him and his eyes dropped to her red coated lips. He. .wanted to taste her. It drawing him in and found himself unable to resist it's pull.

She stopped breathing at the head that slowly bent down towards her. Her quivering intensifying as she found herself unable to look away. His face stopped directly above her lips, just the barest of pressures felt there. She breathed in and out roughly as they stared at one another. "Send me away, Izayoi." He suddenly muttered, his eyes shining with an unreadable emotion. Voice decidedly defeated. "Turn me away. . because I don't think I can leave."

She swallowed, heart pounding in her ears. She licked her lips as she made to say the words he wished to hear but the words would not come. Taisho was here. With her. Before her. Wanting her. Something she thought impossible. She slowly brought her hands up -memorizing the hard, bulging muscles under her hands- to rest on his shoulders as she made sure not to look away. "What if. .what if I don't want you to go."

His eyes closed as her breathless words rushed over him. He pulled her closer until there was no space between them. He couldn't leave. He lowered his lips to hers and heat instantly covered him. Soothing. Gentle.

She gasped before moving her mouth against his. His taste exploding across her tongue. His body against hers making her weak in the knees as he held her upright with a tightened arm around her waist. She suddenly found herself being backed into the couch.

He carelessly dropped the bag of food onto the nearby coffee table before placing Izayoi on the couch, dropping in between her legs as she hiked the hem of her red dress higher up on her waist. He spread her legs and placed his face near the heat radiating through the white, lacy pair of panties. Her mouth fell open at the feel of his nose skimming over her before his tongue ran over the thin material. Both sets of hands came to slid the panties down her thighs before Taisho bent his head directly back over her love. Her heat hitting him fully as he dropped his head closer. Her scent enveloping him in a sweet hold. He pressed kisses over her bare mound, gradually making his way down.

She looked down as he came directly over her most pleasurable spot. He looked up to her at the fingers that reached down to spread apart her own lips. He felt himself straining in his jeans at the lip that lay trapped in between her teeth. The want in her eyes nearly his undoing.

He never looked away as he rolled his tongue from his cavern, licking her in one slow upwards trail as her mouth feel open. Her brown eyes trapped onto his long organ. He repeated his teasing motions, feeling the small roll of her hips as she grind up into him. He breathing turning heavy at the torturing pleasure taking place in her love.

She watched as he finally sucked her into his wet mouth and her eyes rolled into the back of her head at the sensation. Unable to stay still as she rolled into his insistent mouth and tongue.

She tasted better than he imagined. He brought his arms up to hold onto either of her thighs as he used his tongue to give her pleasure. His slurping mingling in with her moans as his head bobbed in between her legs.

She screamed, a hand going down to nestle into a fistful of silver at the viciously long suckle she received. His name falling from her lips like the sweetest of songs as she started to quake. He tightened his hold as her squirming brought her sweet taste from his lips. He held her down until she exploded across his tongue and he lapped up her offering greedily. The sweetest of flavors.

She lay there coming down from her high as she watched him continue to lap away at her. She hissed before making to sit up higher on the couch but was stopped from doing so by his hold. "Please Taisho," she pleaded. "No more. I. .I can't take anymore."

Only when she whimpered did he finally pull away. She was. . .beautiful like this. Spread before him: appearing exhausted and sated.

Izayoi felt her cheeks warm but didn't cover herself up. She suddenly remembered they had yet to see to his problem. She closed her legs and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his. Feeling and tasting herself as she rubbed her hand across his shoulder. She made her way lower before her hand was caught. She broke away to stare at him.

"This was for you," he said with a light squeeze to her wrist at the confusion in her eyes. "It's too soon for anything else so soon out of your operation."

She shook her head in protest. "I'm fine, Taisho."

"Izayoi," he seemed to groan. "It's hard as it is turning you away. Please don't make this unnecessarily difficult."

She pulled away in defeat as he stood up from the carpet. She watched him as he went to sit on the other end of the couch. Head in his hands as he fell deadly quiet. She wanted to ask him if he regretted doing just what took place between them but she wasn't brave enough to hear the potential heartbreaking truth. She watched with worried eyes as he suddenly stood up from his seat. Able to breathe a little easier as he walked and disappeared down the hallway. She turned to the plastic bag on the table and stood up, straightening out her floor length dress before bending down to grab the food.

She needed something to do with her hands. Her nerves rattled at the possible reaction from Taisho. She took the round container out that held the soup, pouring it into a bowl before placing it into the microwave. She left the other container inside and found a spot for it in the refrigerator.

She leaned back against the counter, fingers clicking away as she stood before the microwave. She couldn't believe they'd actually. . That'd been amazing. Taisho was so passionate and everything about him was intense. She'd never had someone pleasure her to that degree. The very few she'd had paled in comparison. The feelings magnified by her love for him. A perfect moment ruined by the realization of what they had done. She knew he was thinking about it because it was on her mind as well. Guilt. A wife that had no clue her husband had been loving down another woman. Giving away his love to an outsider. But she knew without a doubt. .she'd do it again if he desired to as well.

The demon rounded the corner and leaned against the wall at the dazed look over the human's face. Failing to notice him standing here. The microwave sounded off and she looked up then only to jump at seeing him. Her nerves apparent.

She looked him over, seeing the traces of lipstick completely gone from his face. His ponytail neat and pristine once more. She looked away from him, retrieving the food. She took it out and and grabbed a spoon before going to sit at her kitchen table.

She felt him behind her as he followed her. Watching him as he sat across from her. He turned to her and this time found herself unable to look away. Wishing she could get a read on him. She'd been hoping he'd been the one to say something about what happened but maybe he expected the same from her. She looked down into her steaming soup. "Taisho-"

"Kozue thinks I'm at work tonight." Came the soft, smooth interruption. "I lied to my wife."

She looked to him, eyebrows furrowing but staying silent.

"I love her," the demon spoke truthfully and she nodded, lump in her throat. "And I'll always love her."

She nodded her head slowly as she bent her head towards her chest. Tears welling in her eyes. She'd rather he just go instead of trying to let her down easy. She wanted the privacy to shed her tears alone.

"But she's not the one I was thinking about tonight."

Her eyes widened as her head whipped up to him. The look in his eyes soft and holding in them a tenderness. A single tear ran down her face and she quickly brought a hand up to wipe at it. A shaky breath left her. "What are you. . what are you saying?"

"Try as I might, I can't seem to stop thinking of you. When I know thoughts of you should be the last thing on my mind. I desire you with an intensity that shouldn't be there. You've forced me to face things I didn't want to acknowledge about myself. Things I can no longer deny."

Her breath hitched as she watched him get up and make his way around the table. He pulled her from her seat. Eyes boring into her own and she found herself quickly becoming lost. "Now that I know you," he started, "there's no going back. The taste of you lingers on my tongue. Your face in pleasure is something I will never forget. The sound of my name falling from your lips so sweetly. . affects me even now." He brought a hand up to her face. His voice dropping. "We're connected, you and I. There is no going back for me. Now that I know these things."

He leaned down to kiss her and felt the steady flow of tears. Just being near her filled him with an energized presence he hadn't felt in so very long. He'd had her and wanted her still. The dam of his need had been broken.

It wasn't a love confession but that was fine in this moment. He was here. And he wanted her. That was enough for now.

They held each other that night until it was time for him to return home to his wife. They kissed and parted with a promise to return soon between them. Izayoi turned to a bed that was cold and lonely and Taisho to a wife that held the face of another.

* * *

Kagura knocked on Ms. Tsunoi's door, looking around the quite neighborhood as she waited for the dark haired woman or her son to answer the door. She turned back at the sound of the tumbler being unlocked. The door opened to reveal Ms. Tsunoi's politely smiling face. "Kagura," she gestured with a nod of her head as she stepped aside. Her arm gesturing for the demoness to come in. "It's always good to see you."

"You as well." She returned as she cast a look around the living room. Not seeing Sesshomaru. Good. "Where's Sesshomaru?" She asked as she turned to watch the human shut the door.

Izayoi walked past her and into the living room. "He's upstairs in his room. He hasn't came out since he got here." She paused. "Would you like to see him now? I can go-"

Kagura waved a hand as she took a seat on the brown sofa, watching as Ms. Tsunoi did the same. "Not just yet. I'd like to speak to you about some things alone first."

Izayoi nodded, her eyes shining curiously. "Of course."

"First," Kagura started as she suddenly flipped open the tan manila folder in her hands. Fingering through the papers that lay inside before snapping it shut. She handed it over to the other woman. "This is all the information the agency has on file for Sesshomaru. His school transcripts and medical records. Everything you'd need for his enrollment. Everything should be covered but if you find yourself in need of any other information don't hesitate to call me and I'll see what I can do."

She nodded her understanding as she placed the folder to the side of her. Nothing new.

The demoness suddenly looked around, finally noticing the absence of one puppy eared hanyou. "Where's Inuyasha?"

"He's visiting a friend's home. Most likely he won't be back until later this evening."

That was fine. She'd rather he not be here to potentially overhear this particular conversation. "Ms. Tsunoi," she started, hesitation in her cerise colored eyes for a flash before she barreled through. "I hate to be a reminder to a more harsh time in your life, but I need to discuss with you about your past dealing with cancer. It. .ties directly to Sesshomaru."

Her lips tilted upward uneasily. "Whatever I can answer is at your disposal."

Kagura noticed. She inwardly sighed. She hated to have to bring this up but it had to be said. Completely unaware the other's unease had little to do with her surviving cancer and more to do the with the events surrounding that time in her life.

"I mean no disrespect when I make this request, Ms. Tsunoi. I only ask you to do this with Sesshomaru's best interest in mind. His last foster parent. .the home he was in before arriving here. His caretaker was recently diagnosed with stage two breast cancer. He was very close with her and the news hurt him badly. More than I believe he's willing to admit. I think it'd be best if you didn't share any information about your own past struggles just yet."

She looked down, not quite knowing how to take that. "Kagura. Wouldn't that prove to be a mistake further down the line. If he somehow feels I've been dishonest with him. I can't imagine that will make him more open with me either."

She let out a breath. "I know. He's especially closed off right now and I fear he wouldn't allow himself to possibly get close again if he were to find out about you dealing with the disease as well. He's. .been through a lot these past few years. He has no one, Ms. Tsunoi. I want him to be able to be at least content here."

She swallowed. Poor child probably had been through some pretty rough things in being moved from home to home in child services. In the homes of people who didn't always care for the child as much as they did the money. She sighed. She and Taisho hadn't necessarily made it any easier on him by ripping his family apart.

Kagura could see the struggle waging over the woman's face. "I hate to ask this of you-"

"I understand your reasonings, Kagura." She cut in with a quick raise of her hand. "I can't promise I won't tell him if for some reason he deems it necessary to ask me. I will not speak of it if he does not bring it up to me."

She nodded. She would take that. She didn't think the silver haired boy would be doing any serious communicating for at least a while yet. The thought saddened her. "Thank you." She said with a look to her watch. "I'd like to take Sesshomaru out for a few hours if that's alright with you. Say my goodbyes before I head back for Tokyo."

"I'm sure he'd appreciate it." Izayoi offered.

Kagura smiled but didn't say she wasn't so sure about that. She stood up from her seat. Waving the human back down at seeing her making to stand. "It's fine. I'll go get him." She started for the stairs.

She came upon the landing and walked to the furthest door on the right. She listened for a moment, hearing nothing but silence on the other side of the door. She raised her hand to knock. "Sesshomaru? It's Kagura."

She leaned back at the door suddenly being yanked open. Sesshomaru looking to her for a moment before turning to walk back into the room. She walked in after him, looking around the room. "Sweet room." She told him, noting how spacious it was. The walls adorned with a dark beige. A queen sized bed pushed against the wall. She looked to him as he made his way back over to sit on the bed. "How are you liking it so far?"

He looked to her. "It's fine." He said quitely.

She nodded, bringing her hands around to stuff down her back pockets. "I'll be heading back to Tokyo today. I was wondering if you'd wanna go grab something to eat before I hit the road."

His eyes drifted to the floor. Body still for a moment before nodding his head. She tilted her lips upward. "Great. I'll be downstairs with Ms. Tsunoi." She told him before going to the door, closing it softly behind her. She sighed before going back downstairs.

She made her way down, smiling at the dark haired woman's worried glance towards the stairs. "I'll be sure to have him back soon. I plan on arriving back in Tokyo by evening."

The human's lips quirked. "So eager to leave Kyoto?"

The demoness raised a brow. "Not really. The paperwork waiting for me alone is enough to make me want to turn off my cell." She chuckled under her breath. "I have to go visit in on some other family's as well on my return."

Izayoi tilted her head as something occurred to her. "After all these years I've never thought to inquire about you pursuing helping children and their family's."

Kagura's lips twisted and Izayoi immediately backpedaled. "It's really not any of my business. You don't have to-"

"My sister." The demoness whispered, the emotion in her voice hard to decipher. "She was the reason."

Izayoi nodded, realizing that's all she would receive as an answer as the demoness fell silent. Both sets of eyes turned to the stairs at the quite approach of the silver haired teen. She swallowed as she took him in all his glory. Having not laid eyes on him since he was very little. Barely able to walk. She saw her old love in him but he really did take after his mother, she decided. The same milky complexion. His twin magneta colored stripes that curved inward under each of his eyes much more pronounce than Kozue's had been. His crimson lids low over his eyes. Staring right at her.

She offered a smile at seeing his observation of her as well. A part of her expected him to suddenly exclaim that he knew her. Which would be unlikely considering how young he'd been during their one and only encounter. But thankfully he just looked to her with a single nod before turning to the social worker.

She turned to Ms. Tsunoi. "Well. We're gonna head out of here for a few hours. I'll call you to let you know when to expect us on our return trip."

Izayoi gave a nod of her head. "I'd appreciate it." She said before stepping closer to Sesshomaru. Heart picking up some at drawing his piercing gaze. So serious for a child. . . It was as if he were looking right through you. Looking directly into the innermost part of your being. That thought scared her. "I want. .you to have this," she spoke softly before before holding her hand out to him. A silver key held between her index and thumb. He reached out to grab it before looking to her. No mistaking the silent question in his eyes.

"You're not bound to these walls of my home. As long as your home at a reasonable hour I think it's fair that a young man such as yourself be granted some liberties. There's no need for you to knock on your return. I hope you will come to view this as your home, Sesshomaru. We're very happy to have you here." She stressed. Hoping he hadn't been put off by her surprise the night before.

Izayoi didn't look away at the unnerving searching look she found herself suddenly on the receiving end of. Despite fear of what he may actually find. She was grateful when he suddenly nodded before sticking the key into one of the front pocket of his jeans. She nodded before turning so she could address them both. "You two enjoy yourselves."

Sesshomaru walked to the door as Kagura lingered behind. "I'll call you soon." She promised before following Sesshomaru out the door.

She unlocked the car and let him in as she made her way to the driver's side. She leaned forward to start up the engine as she looked to him to her right. "That was neat, huh? Ms. Tsunoi giving you a key." He leaned against the window, chin in his palm. Never looking her way. " She looked behind her as she pulled out of the driveway. "Kyoto's really nice. I'm sure there's all sorts of things for you to do."

She looked to him before looking away with a silent sigh. It was going to be a long few hours.

...

Kagura looked to him from over her slowly melting cup of mocha almond fudge ice cream. Seeing Sesshomaru repeatedly stab at his own vanilla and chocolate treat riddled in ribbons of caramel.

He was very hard to talk to and she found her patience wavering. It was frustrating when you wanted to see someone well and happy but no matter your efforts it didn't seem to be making any progress. She sighed. Maybe she'd better take him back to the Tsunoi's home and start the drive back to-

"Thank you."

Her head snapped up, his turn to look intently at his ice cream. She nodded quickly. "Of course. It was my pleasure."

She felt that quickly swelling balloon of defeat deflate some. It was more than he'd said in the past two hours.

"I wanted to talk to you away from the Tsunoi's home," she started, taking this as an opportune moment to say what she wanted. "I know I've told you this enough times to be familiar so you know you can call me anytime. If for whatever reason, you no longer feel safe or comfortable there. All you need to do is tell me and I'll work on finding you somewhere else to stay. Though I doubt that'll be an issue. The Tsunoi's are some of the best people I know. They're really a great family." She nodded reassuringly at the raise of his head.

"Ms. Rin was great too." He said rather icily, eyes narrowing out the nearby shop window.

"I know, Sesshomaru. I know you wanted to stay for her but you have to understand what she's going through was something she didn't want to expose you too. I'm sure she'll be happy if you called and checked up on her every once in a while. I imagine it would mean a lot to her if she heard from you."

He was rigid for a moment more before he slumped back over his treat. The air about him decidedly more defeated.

"It may not be what you want now but get to know them Sesshomaru," she encouraged softly. "I think they might just surprise you."

He nodded and she scooped up some of the ice cream to her mouth. She would have to accept that for now.

She took him around the mall they were in, stopping in a nearby shop at noticing an red and yellow woven lanyard catch his eye on the display near the window. Buying it despite his protests.

"Here," she handed it over to him as they walked out. "Now you have something to hold your key on."

He took it from her and watched him as he slid the key onto the round ring. She smiled. "Looks good on you. C'mon," she beckoned before walking towards the mall's main doors. Already pulling her cellphone out. "I need to get you back home." The demoness missing the flash of the softened look in the amber eyes trained onto her back before the young one walked after her.

* * *

 **AN** : Glad I found some motivation to write this. I felt so bad about abandoning my first SessInu story. :( This will probably be the last update for a little while. Maybe. All depends if I have to do jury duty or not. Ugh.

Anyway. Hit that review button!


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